What is narcissism:
Narcissism is a result of emotional arrested development. The narcissist is stuck in a child like state with no self awareness. They only manifest in terms of their own wants and needs.
Narcissism is believed to be caused in childhood due to abuse or neglect, excessive parental pampering or unrealistic expectations from parents. A narcissist must always be in control in order to avoid feeling.
- They are constantly looking for supply to fill their own inner void. A narcissist has an excessive need for admiration.
- They show total disregard for others feelings, lack empathy, have an inability to handle any criticism or receive feedback.
- Their protective mechanism is to portray an inflated sense of self worth, and live in a constant state of entitlement.
- They are not interested in resolution or peace. A narcissist thrive on drama and can very suddenly become enraged and verbally or physically abusive. They take no responsibility for their actions, nor do they feel any remorse
"The narcissist doesn't want your love, they don't know what love is. They want your admiration and obedience as a player in their fake make-believe world”
Living in this constant state means our abuser can trigger us more easily into “reactive abuse” provoking us to have an extreme reaction to an event caused by the narcissist, which makes it much easier for them to gaslight (manipulate) and make us believe we’re the problem. You will most likely be suffering from: depression, confusion, sadness, low self-esteem, anxiety, dissociation and codependency.
Feeling worthless, inadequate, angry, panicked, shame, guilt and lost is normal. When you have been victimized by narcissist abuse you have experienced trauma. It can feel impossible to imagine a way out of the toxic relationship! You might develop addictions to substances such as: alcohol, drugs, pain medication and tobacco, or behavioral addictions such as: gambling, sex, food, the internet, constantly scrolling on your mobile device, TV, and shopping to numb out your pain. It is also common to suffer from panic attacks, cause self harm and isolate.
What is narcissist abuse:
The physical trauma can shrink the hippocampus in our brain, which is in charge of learning and memory, and swell our amygdala, which plays a role in our emotional memory and is in charge of learning. The amygdala also controls our fight, flight and freeze response. When we live in the fight, flight or freeze mode, feeling constantly on guard, expecting an outburst and severe mood changes from the narcissists at any moment, we are highly reactive and our short term memory is compromised.
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