This is what coercive control can look like:

–Limiting access to money.

Your abuser controls how much money you have and how you spend it. Creates a tight budget without your consent. Scolding you like a child whenever you spend money on anything including groceries.

–Listen in on your private communication, as a controlling effort.

–Making jealous accusations.
Jealousy complaining about the amount of time you spend with your family and friends.

–Isolating you from friends and family. They might move you to a new state or county, with the promise of a better life, knowing you will be dependent on them.

–Controlling aspects of your health and body.

They’ll monitor how much you eat and sleep. They will call you lazy if you take a well-deserved nap or sit on the couch. They will make comments about your exercise regimen, the shape of your body, and your weight. What you should and shouldn’t wear and how it makes you look.

–Regulate your sexual relationship.

They might make demands about the number of times you have sex each week and the kind of activities you perform.

–Monitoring your activities and your movements.

Expect you to be available and pick up your phone EVERY time they call. If you don’t answer they will bombard you with voice mails or texts. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone”? “Where are you?”

–Not allowing you to work or go to school.

They might make it seem like it’s for your benefit. “You don’t have to work.” I make enough money to take care of the family” “Just stay home with the kids” All part of their plan to control the financials, to keep you stuck.

–Reinforcing traditional gender roles.
They will attempt to justify that women are homemakers and mothers, while men are breadwinners. Coerce you into taking care of ALL the cleaning, cooking, and childcare, while they rest and enjoy their hobbies when they are home, detached from family life.

–Gaslight, manipulate and lie to get their way and convince you that you’re wrong. To get you to question your own memory and apologize.

–Name-calling and putting you down, telling you that you are worthless. Form of bullying behavior, designed to make you feel unimportant and deficient.

–Turning your kids against you.

If you have children, they might try to weaponize the children against you by telling them you’re a bad parent or belittling you in front of them.

–Threatening to publish information about you or to report you to the police or the authorities.

–Threatening to harm you, your child, or pets.

Threatening to call social services and say you’re neglecting or abusing your children when you aren’t. Intimidating you by threatening to make important decisions about your kids without your consent.